Oh, that Phoenix singles chat…

I went to Phoenix, Arizona in winter 2008 for a conference. My employers had devised a new marketing campaign, involving top-class Mexican food, called something like “Mexican Aristocracy” or something like that. Not sure how it went, besides it’s none of my business, really. In any case, I had to visit Phoenix to attend a large Mexican Cuisine Festival, which housed a conference for chefs. If you still can’t get what a chef conference is, I’ll make it clear.

Imagine a bunch of old fat guys, who think they can tell everyone how things are done just because they’ve been doing them for ages. Some of them wear fancy suits with chef hats, some just look in such a way that you’d say – “that’s a cook”. Anyway, even I that old fart had been making hot-dogs for fifty years, he sees himself as a damn professor of luxury cuisine. What these people do is lecture everyone on different important (to them) aspects of cooking. Don’t get me wrong – some of them are legends alive, being esteemed experts of cuisine. Their mastery allows them to serve a royal feast, not to mention ordinary diplomatic receptions.

There are also people like Jamie, Oscar, Larry and me (you might as well know who those guys are). What we do is walk around, wearing jeans and “F**K the Cook” t-shirts, drink Guinness and troll those old farts (except for the legendary masters and our own teachers, of course). Not that we don’t respect them or anything, but seriously, who the hell cares about how they won the “Best Salad” prize in France in 1976? What they did then is now accomplished by a trainee in a Fresh Bar. Well…they’re happy about it and I may as well learn something new, so whatever...

As you might have guessed, my trip started as soon as I knew that I have to go there. Browsing through Phoenix chat rooms with my webcam on, looking for company in the city.Took me about three hours that time, till I found a nice girl named Rosalina, who wanted to attend the conference too, as she was a reporter. I must say that that most of the people in Phoenix video chat room were of Mexican origin, which was none of a surprise, really.

The conference went quite well, I must say –Rosalina and I could very well have fun during a lecture on the “Spanish origins of Mexican food”, which was a load of bull. I had my time on the stage too, telling everyone how great Tabasco sauces were. Rosalina had enough material to write an article about the Festival, where I was mentioned as an “Anonymous Cook she met in a video chat Phoenix room”.

That was my trip to Arizona… Never even had to book a hotel room, thanks to a “Reporter I met in a video chat en Phoenix room”. If you ever have a chance to visit a conference like the ones I told you about…don’t.